Happy Thanksgiving

It’s crazy to think that tomorrow is Thanksgiving for all of our family and for us it’s just Thursday. Not only is it a work and school day but Jamie is in a long day of training and we have Patrick’s parent teacher conference in the evening so it’s a busy one. Last year at this time we had only been here a few months and were headed to Disneyland Thanksgiving morning so missing the holiday didn’t seem like a big deal. This year as I hear endless stories about ways to prepare turkey on NPR’s podcasts I’m starting to feel homesick about not being there with everyone. I really try not to dwell on what we may be missing but one of the things that does make me sad about living so far away is that the kids aren’t spending these holidays with their cousins. I talk to my Mom and hear about AJ and Emma playing or about how busy Edgar is right now, I wish Kellen and Ella had more of a connection with those guys. To get in the spirit of Thanksgiving I made the full dinner last Sunday and then this Saturday we’re getting together with other expat friends and having the full Thanksgiving experience. But since this is the time of giving thanks it has made me more reflective of the things I am thankful for over the last year so here are a few that come to mind.

1.       I’m thankful for cheap long distance packages. If I couldn’t talk to my Mom regularly (almost daily) it would be miserable.

2.       I’m thankful I got my UK drivers licence. Not only was it hard to get but it’s nice to take my US license out of my wallet and store it in a drawer it makes me feel less like a visitor.

3.       I’m thankful the kids have settled in so well.

4.       I’m thankful I know where to run my errands. There were a lot of wasted trips over the last year…

5.       I’m thankful for Patrick’s braces being covered by the NHS.

6.       I’m thankful we’ve had the chance to travel. I think the pure joy of food stands will forever stick with the boys whether we are indulging in gelato, waffles, crepes or fries.

7.       I’m thankful that Jamie and I are happy here together. Talking to others who had relocated we were warned that a big change like this either brings you together or pulls you apart. There is no one I’d rather be having this adventure with.

I could go on and on as I have so many things to be thankful for.

To all of our friend and family Happy Thanksgiving! I will be thinking of you all tomorrow as you watch football and eat your way through the day.

Admissions Angst

I just got our admissions packet from the Wokingham Borough Council so that I can enrol Kellen in reception (think kindergarten) for next fall. I’ve know this was coming and have been trying to make sense of what our options are and what, if anything, we need to do to make sure Kellen is in the right school. I’ve always just assumed that as long as you are in a good school district then one elementary school is the same as any other elementary school in your area. Patrick went to Cherry Valley in Duvall and I never wondered if Carnation would have been a better fit. Even if I had heard outstanding things about Carnation changing schools would not have been an easy option, moving being the most obvious barrier. So you move into a house in a good district, walk down to your local elementary school, enrol, show up in September. Done.  Here in the UK the system is very different and I’m learning that having choices might only end up driving me crazy.

We live in the Wokingham Borough which functions like a county would in the States, and then within the borough there are catchment areas similar to districts. It starts to get more complicated when you realize that different levels in school have different catchment areas. For example, the primary or infant/junior schools have a much smaller catchment then the secondary schools. So we can actually live almost anywhere in the Borough and Patrick would be able to stay in his secondary school but there are many more primary schools that serve smaller areas. So we live in an area that has 4 primary school options, or more specifically 3 primary schools, 1 infant (reception – year 2) and 1 junior school (year 3 – year 5). To complicate things a bit further you can also chose one of the religious schools that serve the broader borough and have additional admissions processes. Parents do their research on the schools then by January 15^th you complete the admissions packet sending in your selection of 4 schools in order of preference. They then allocate the available places based on a series of prioritizations like proximity to school, siblings already attending the school, special needs, etc. I got all of this information at a parent’s information night to discuss the fact that the UK is experiencing a baby boom so the borough is actually short places for the 2013 school year. At first I thought it was great, I can research the schools and chose the school that seems to be the best fit for Kellen, but in all reality I assumed the school behind the house would be the frontrunner due to convenience and anyways what’s the difference between elementary schools… I was completely wrong, since then I’ve slowly gotten more and more anxious about the admissions process and lost all perspective on the issue.  

Since parents do have more of a choice in what school their kids attend there are regular tours of the schools where the head teacher takes time to speak with the parents.  You can also view the school’s Ofsted report to review not only their test scores but also read a report on the overall school quality. I started my own research process by reading the Ofsted reports and decided to visit 3 schools; Farley Hill Primary, The Coombes Primary and Shinfield Infant. Shinfield Infant is the same school Kellen is currently attending, I’ve liked the Nursery program but based on what I read through their Ofsted report and word of mouth I think it would be fine but there are potentially better options. Farley Hill was the first school I went to tour. Based on their Ofsted report I was already sold on the school, they received all 1s and 2s on the quality of education, behaviour, social development, etc. I arrived at the school and found it to be surprisingly small; they only have one class for each grade so only have 30 places for the new reception class. The school itself was amazing; they have additional resources to work with kids who need extra help but also to help push the kids who are excelling. They focus on learning instruments and languages even in primary school. It was almost absurd as 2 of the older kids toured us through their organic garden and explained that the cafeteria only uses locally sourced meats and the school lunches are all cooked from scratch onsite. Their test scores are outstanding and the head teacher was really blunt that parental involvement is expected and that’s what helps their students to succeed. Then I found out that last year they received 150 applications for 30 places. Essentially you have to either live next door or already have a sibling in the school to get a place. I left in awe of the school and trying to figure out how to move closer as soon as possible. The following week I went to The Coombes, before going everyone I had talked to said the Coombes is ‘different’ but no one could explain what they meant. They also had a solid Ofsted report and are fairly close to the house. I was surprised by how large this school was, physically the campus was really big and had fields, ponds, learning areas and even a goat. Going through the tour I started to learn what was different about this school. First off there are no uniforms which is very rare in this area. They also do a lot of their teaching through physical learning, one example the head teacher gave was instead of asking kids to write a descriptive paragraph about a picture of a horse they actually bring a horse to campus learn about horses and then go inside and write about it. They keep the kids very physically active and it is much more of nurture the soul type environment. Another American mom I’ve met compared it to a Montessori.  I left thinking that there were so many really neat things about the school but worried about when they did basic things like spelling.

I’ve spent the last month or so with my heart set on Farley Hill, intrigued by the Coombes but somewhat nervous, and feeling like with all of the oversubscription issues we’ll probably end up at a Shinfield Infant expansion classroom and poor Kellen will be going to school in a construction site. Is more choice better? I’m not so sure anymore. Each school really is so different from the others that I worry about making the wrong choice. Jamie of course tries to be the voice of reason pointing out that we are taking about reception not university.

These Boots Are Made For Walking

Here’s a short video of Ella walking. There are actually no boots involved but she does look very cute doing it. I think I need to get her a pair just so I have a better excuse for loving the song.

 

 

Red State Blue State

Since it's finally election day I had to share this Red State Blue State episode of This American Life. Funny and alarming perspective on the growing political divide in the US. I caught myself doing exactly what they are talking about. There's also a shocking story on New Hampshire, I had no idea.

This American Life

Please Protect My Rights!

With the election just days away I thought I’d send out a last ditch plea to everyone who hasn’t voted yet. With the absentee ballot process in Washington it couldn’t be easier to fill it out and send it off. We voted weeks ago and it felt good to get it done and check it off the list. If you haven’t voted or didn’t receive a ballot because of a move or other circumstances it doesn’t mean you can’t vote. You can go to MyVote and find information on your local polling place. My guess is that the reason many people don’t vote is not because they didn’t receive a ballot but instead because they are disillusioned by the US political system and actively chose not to participate.

I can understand the election coverage fatigue, the feeling that candidates will vote along party lines and aren’t being truthful or the general feeling that one vote doesn’t count so what’s the point. I am begging those people to reconsider and vote this year. One vote does count and if we all chose to sit back and wait for the results then we will be overruled by the extremes on both sides. This year in particular is too important for women not to take action, and those men who respect women and their rights.

The issue of women having access to abortions or birth control is too often painted as an issue of young promiscuous women acting irresponsibly. Even on another continent the news story of an educated law student being labelled a slut was a big story. To steal a line from President Obama this isn’t a women’s issue it’s a family issue and we shouldn’t forget that. My grandmother-in-law (if that is a real term) raised 6 boys. She happened to be in town when we first found out that I was expecting Kellen and she was spending the weekend at our house. I remember cooking with her one afternoon and asking if she had always wanted such a big family. She laughed and said “I don’t think you plan something like that, it just happens.” Now she is what I would think of as a superwoman grandma and great grandma. The number of great grandchildren she has is in the high teens (and ever growing) and somehow she remembers all of our birthdays. Without fail we each get a card from Grandma Bly and the little kids get one for every holiday, both big and small, in between. Her comment stuck with me though because she didn’t have a choice.

This election we are voting to decide whether or not we are going to go back to the days where even married couples in committed relationships won’t have access to affordable and reliable birth control. There is a reason when I was growing up that the average number of kids is 2.5, families planned for the children they were going to have. Jamie and I decided to have 3 kids; we don’t want to have 3 more. We would not be able to provide 6 kids with the opportunity that we can provide our 3. Could we afford 6 kids on one income? No. Could we afford childcare so that I could work to support 6 kids? No. Would society as a whole be better off or somehow godlier if we had 6 kids? No

Allowing a president into office that would allow insurance companies to deny coverage for birth control, or allowing the personal beliefs of pharmacists to impact women’s access to their doctor prescribed birth control is not acceptable. If family planning becomes something that is not only too expensive but also somehow made to be something shameful by having to seek out a pharmacy that will fill your prescription would be a giant step back for women’s rights. You also set up a system where there are have and have nots in the area of birth control where those who can least afford additional children have reduced access to the tools to be thoughtful around their family planning.

This is to say nothing about politicians making decisions for women who have found themselves in the horrific situation of being victims of rape or incest. Women whose pregnancies may be life threatening or for a number of tragic reasons don’t feel they can have a child. Giving women a choice doesn’t prevent those who chose to have large families from doing so. It doesn’t force women to have an abortion. It doesn’t legislate morality for others. It allows women to make a decision with their family and their doctor about what is the right choice for them personally given their own unique situation.

So my plea is this. This is an issue that impacts not only young single women but it is about those of us who are mothers and want the right to choose how many children we will have. It’s about our mothers who set that national average of 2.5 kids; they need to vote so that we have the same choice. To the men in our lives these are your rights too. We don’t make these decisions alone. So please even if you hate the debates and the Sunday morning news shows, the negative attack ads, etc. Please vote in the national election and your state election too. It takes a minute to fill out a ballot and stick it back in the mailbox. There are bigger issues at stake here than just taxes. I look at Ella and I want to fight for her to have a choice, whether that is no kids, 6 kids or 2.5.